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When It’s Time To See a Marriage Counselor and the Benefits You Will Receive

Sessions with a marriage counsellor provide couples with the opportunity to work through whatever is currently taking place in their union. There are a number of events during the course of a marriage where a third party can step in and help couples find the answers they are seeking. Here are a few examples of times when finding the right counsellor will make a difference.

Before the Marriage

Counselling does not have to wait until after the couple is legally wed. In many instances, it makes a lot of sense to talk with a counsellor in the months leading up to the marriage. A counsellor can help the couple explore aspects of married life that they may not have considered as closely as they should. Some of the processes used during the sessions can help both parties get a better idea of how they would go about managing certain events that take place in most marriages. In many ways, this counselling before a marriage can help the couple be equipped to take care of many of the challenges they are sure to face, and do so successfully.

Intimacy Issues

Intimacy is not all there is to marriage, but it is a significant part. If one or both parties develop issues with intimacy, many different emotions can come into play. The person who is unable to exhibit the level of intimacy desired may feel guilty, angry, pressured, and in general unhappy. The other partner will often feel rejected, wonder if the problem is really due to something that was said or done, and carry a great deal of guilt. Both parties are likely to develop esteem issues that stem from the inability to be as physically close as they were in the past.

In this scenario, the marriage counseling is often conducted along with medical testing to determine if there is a medical reason for the change in intimacy. When no physical origin is discovered, therapy aimed at uncovering and resolving the emotional issues that led to the intimacy issue will proceed. Many couples find that therapy allows them to identify those issues, deal with them in a positive manner, and discover pathways that make it possible to be more intimate than ever.

Difficulty Making a Major Decision

Every marriage involves decision making. What happens if a major decision must be made and the couple seems to be an a impasse? That's where support from a couples counsellor will make a difference.

For example, one spouse is offered a wonderful job on the other side of the country. While it looks like a great opportunity, it means quite a few changes for the couple. There's the move, the other spouse giving up a job or career, no longer being physically near friends or family members, and all sorts of other considerations. When the couple can't seem to come together on the decision, a third party may help them explore all their options and ultimately find a course of action that both can embrace.

There are other times when private sessions, group therapy, or going on relationship retreats could make a difference. Couples who seem to be unable to communicate or are adjusting to life now that all the kids are grown could benefit from these and other types of therapy. If you and your spouse are having difficulties, don't feel you must go it alone. Seek out a counsellor and commit to finding the right answers. In the long run, both of you will be a lot happier.

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Ken is a certified psychotherapist that specializes in a powerful approach called Gestalt Therapy that focuses on building a person's awareness, self-esteem and mind-body connection.


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