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Top 5 Tips to Build a Healthy Self-esteem

Building a Healthy Self-esteem

A couple of things close to my heart. I absolutely love writing, reflecting and reading on the subject of self esteem and worthiness.

Here is what I want to say on the subject. Belief is one of the most powerful and creative forces we have at our disposal and it is greatly misunderstood.

Recently I was asked, 'why is it so difficult for people to believe in themselves'?

The question came from one of the men in a group I was facilitating; we were working on how to improve their mindsets and relationships. The question sparked a lively and engaging discussion on what self-confidence feels like and how each person saw themselves in the world.

The most important thing to understand about our self-worth is that our perception is deeply rooted in our history, habitual thinking and a lifetime of experiences.

Most of the men were successful in their careers, relationships and family lives or at least they would agree it would appear that way to the outside world. The all too common reality is that for many, there was a different story beneath the surface..

One of the men explained that he felt his low self-esteem was going to drive away his wife as he continued to say, "I just want to get back to feeling like me again." It's a very familiar statement to hear and for many it is a massive goal when they feel like they have lost themselves.

I am going to make a very obvious statement. There is power in the way we see ourselves. The real trick is learning how to live on the side of truly believing in yourself.

The even more obvious statement is that for most people living with low self-esteem will feel as those they are not worthy, experience depression, anxiety and stress.

So there is a great deal of motivation to have a healthy mindset and thriving self esteem to counter the swings that most people feel in our day to day lives.

The path to a healthy foundation begins with belief. Believing that change is even possible is the first thing I want you to reflect on.

Do you believe that positive change is something that exists for you in your future?

Do you believe that mindset will stay for the long run?

If the answer is an honest no, you need to consider building a tool belt of healthy self esteem practices.

The men in my group all had their unique strengths and yet every single one had of low self-esteem and challenges with worthiness.

We could all benefit from peeling back the onion and the layers of our past. We could all definitely be better off if we start undoing any of the negative beliefs and unhealed wounds from our past.

If I can make this invitational, we you make a decision to improve your self esteem you begin the inner work.

Give yourself the gift of having a powerful tool belt of healthy self esteem practices.

Five Tips to Build a Healthy Self-esteem

Tip #1 Make a commitment to feel better

Set the intention that you're committed to feeling better about yourself. We cannot choose everything that happens to us, but we can choose how we respond. Making a commitment to feel better about yourself is the first step to changing the pattern.

Tip #2 Believe your worth it

Shifting from low to high self-esteem takes time and should be approached with the same expectations as building any new skill. Most people don't change their thinking and feelings over night, but you can start to remind yourself of your strengths and unique qualities by taking a moment to be grateful for smaller and simpler pleasures.

Tip #3 Break the pattern of destructive thinking

Through mindfulness and building your self-awareness you can begin to observe your thoughts and inner chatter with greater detail. When you notice yourself engaged in a negative thinking pattern its best practice to break that thought and create a new experience. Self-worth can only be defined by you, ask yourself if your thoughts are contributing to building your self-confidence or are they working against you.

Tip #4 Don't compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is natural, but it can often become a toxic pattern when you become judgmental, jealous or envious of others. There is a good chance if you're judgmental and comparing yourself to others you're probably just as hard on yourself. My advice is stay simple and stop comparing yourself to others, re-focus your attention on authentic experiences that bring you happiness.

Tip #5 Self-love is acceptance

When you start to feel your self-esteem shift to a more positive quality you will notice that you give yourself more permission to be just you. To get to a place where you have genuine confidence with 'who' you are you need to embody a feeling of acceptance. Start with small steps; focus your attention on your strengths, positive relationships and qualities that are distinctively yours.

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{ 1 comment... add one now }

  • Alison Dubitz

    Oct. 12, 2018

    Do you have a retreat for the self esteem program?

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Ken is a certified psychotherapist that specializes in a powerful approach called Gestalt Therapy that focuses on building a person's awareness, self-esteem and mind-body connection.

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